Pressure In HD

Mmm num ba de, dum bum ba be, doo buh dum ba beh beh….Pressure! Pushing down on me, pressing down on you….dah dah dahhhhh. I wasn’t going to be able to write this without getting that out of the way first. Long live Freddie Mercury, carrying on…

Pressure has two faces. One side can push you to overcome, power through, break up with that loser and sometimes perform miracles by losing that last 10 pounds you’ve hung onto since college. The other side can make you feel angry, lonely and sad while simultaneously hitting you in the face with all the reasons you should give up. Good or bad, pressure can be consuming. Joy sucking, consuming.

Anxiety is pressures’ best friend. The kind that tells you how good you look in those gaucho pants. We as a society are immensely driven to look our best, make loads of money, eat organic, and “live our best life.” When we’re not able to live up to those expectations, we get anxiety. Anxiety gives you wrinkles.

If you’ve had any social media exposure, you know that not only can you see tear jerking videos of puppies who have made it out of the puppy mill but also pictures and videos of “normal” people seemingly having it all and thriving all over the internet. Good stuff, right? How does that make you feel? For me, it’s conditional. If I have managed to eat well, workout, keep my house clean and dress my baby in cute outfits for a few consecutive days, it doesn’t bother me as much because I feel like I’m a member of their exclusive club. “Yeah girl, I know EXACTLY how you feel when you drink that celery juice!” “Wod’s, soul cycle, pilates, GOT IT!” “Yeah bro, I too eat kale!” Pat on the back, I’ve got my life together.

Then there are the days where I’ve fallen off the bandwagon. I didn’t have time to workout, my house isn’t perfect and my baby is running around with only a diaper on and applesauce all over her. Not to mention being a new mother and having to find my way through the sea of “influencers.” They have it all down and use all the things that I too must have in order to be a good and engaged Mother. Those days tear me down and make me feel like I’m failing. I don’t even want wine, I’m that deep in a self pity hole. I try to put my feelings into perspective. These are first world problems, I know this. But they are my level 10, red light warning problems regardless. Does this happen to you?

Could you imagine not having the tools to mentally pull yourself out of the dark hole of shame? MOST PEOPLE DON’T. Most people have no idea how to help themselves. What happens then? You stay in that hole. You get grumpy. You eat your feelings with a bag of Funyuns and start telling yourself “what does it matter?” We go back on social media to rub salt in the wound and pout. Instagram search: weight-loss. That’s a rabbit hole you DO NOT want to go down. We’ve all been there. Why do we do this? Hello?! You were raised better. Not only does this affect you and your mood, but also your partner. You undoubtedly go off on them because if you don’t get the feelings out, you’re going to explode. Hopefully you have someone who can take the punches and come back for more. Pro tip if you need it, get in your car, turn the music up really loud, and either sing or scream, maybe a little bit of both so you don’t lose your ever loving mind in that moment.

Please don’t feel crazy because this gets to you. Don’t feel weak or less than. This kind of disappointment reaches all ages, all collars, and all relationships. Know this, comparison will KILL your happiness. It’s a daily evaluation for me. I’m not proud of this and I certainly do not want to program my daughter to check herself up against social media. I have challenged myself to change this and if you’re like me, I’m challenging you, too.

Cheers to you, cheers to us,

Lana